How to raise a resilient helper that never quits

Have you heard of the $50 note story? Let me share with you.

In front of a crowd of hundred, the speaker started off by holding up a $50 note.

She asked: “Who would like this $50?”

One hundred hands went up.

“I am going to give this $50 to one of you. But first, let me do this.” She then proceed to crumple the note up. She then asked, “Who still wants it?”

All 100 hands were still raised. Well, what if I do this?

Then she dropped the note on the ground and stomped on it.

When she picked it up and showed it to the crowd, the note was all crumpled and dirty.

“Now, who still wants it?“

All hands still went up.

“My friends… no matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $50.”

Many times, in our lives, life crumbles us and grinds us into the dirt. We make bad decisions or deal with poor circumstances. We feel worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Moral of the Story: Be resilient yourself. You are worth it. Don’t ever forget it!

Once you hire a helper, you have upgrade yourself to an Employer. You need to transfer your skills to the helper. You need to train your helper. Resilient helpers are hopeful, optimistic, strong and they will stay long.

Here are five tips to help you raise a resilient helper.

1. Be a Supportive Role Model

In fact, the more positive employer connections a helper has, the more resilient they will be.

Your helper watches and learns everything you do, so model resilient behaviours. Be calm and consistent. Admit to your mistakes, if any, but don’t agonize over them.

2. Let Helpers make mistakes

Yes, you hear me right. We are not perfect. Nobody is perfect. If helpers never make mistakes, they’ll never learn how to fix their errors or make better decisions in the future.

Failure teaches perseverance and problem solving and helps helper learn coping skills.

3. Praise Helper the right way

Give “process praise” by focusing on effort.

Instead of giving “person praise” like “You’re so smart” or “You’re so creative”, try to give “process praise”. E.g. “I can tell you’ve been working hard.” Or “Thank you for mending that hole on my pyjamas.” Or “You really understand my kids eating habits”

4. Teach helpers to manage emotions

As helper learn to manage emotions, they will also learn to be more resilient.

5. Teach helper to problem solve

Don’t rush to solve problems for helper or tell them the best solution. Teach them.

We can’t and shouldn’t hold our helper hands through life, but we can teach them the valuable tool of resilience so that they can stay with us. Hope the above give you some ideas to manage your helper better!

We are here to transform your life at home!